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Hello and welcome back to Up an Octave. I'm back. I needed a couple weeks to honestly just kind of regroup and reflect on the kind of content that feels important for me to make after the results of the presidential election here in the United States. Um, I've also decided, you know, I came back from the summer and I was like, we're going to be a little more loose with things.
Uh, yeah, in the wake of What we're seeing right now, my HVAC system's on right now, my kids eating an apple in the living room, like I'm doing a load of laundry, uh, cause toddlers are horrifyingly gross and no one's going to die. It's going to be okay. This is what real life sounds like. And Bestie, we are here sitting cozied up on the couch talking podcasts.
So let's get into it. If you are One of the many people that I've talked to recently, who's like, I feel so much more inspired to action than I have maybe ever, or maybe in a really long time. Oh, yep. My HVAC is kicking on and we're just going to rock with it. That this time has put a lot of people's feet to the fire.
In ways that are honestly kind of exciting. And I, I do say that from a place of privilege. Because things are probably going to get pretty bad for a while. Um, and that is something that is hard to sit with and hard to reconcile. But in the wake of some of the most disparate times is often in history when we have seen almost like a slingshot of action that as we are pulled back from progress, we are able, we are able to spring forward and create more change.
Then would have been otherwise available to us now. I say that obviously with the caveat that there are people who really, really, really need support right now and that we are going to have to keep looking out for and we're going to have to keep protecting. Um, this is not gonna be sunshine and rainbows for a good many people.
Um, so yeah, because of all that, releasing the lighthearted content about, you know, here's how to make editing fun, just hasn't felt on tone with the way that I'm actually feeling. And, In this season of really embracing authenticity and vulnerability and transparency, those are some of the big words that I'm going to be taking with me into 2025.
It just didn't feel right to put that out. I have been having so many conversations with people who I love, who are feeling honestly terrified for what their future holds, and it, it just made my skin crawl to think about releasing content that I'd recorded months ago in a very different headspace, um, in, in these, So, um, if you are someone who is here for that type of content, you know, if maybe you have just started a podcast with the inspiration of these current events, feel free to check my back catalog, feel free to ask me any Questions in my DMs on Instagram, hang out with me on threads.
Um, that content will come back and my work is not necessarily changing, but the way that I approach what I do is shifting because. Of what feels valuable to me right now.
So when we talk about podcasting as activism, I think that there are a few different schools of thought, and I don't believe that any of them are inherently right or wrong, but the way that I approach things is that even if you are a lighthearted comedy podcast, or, you know, you talk about something that's like very tunneled in.
Understanding where you fit in with privilege, with accountability, with whom you're interacting, that's all significant. So even if you don't think of yourself as, I'm going to have a podcast all about Being an activist or doing activism work. It is my belief that in this current climate, we have a responsibility to see how our work, whatever work that is, factors in.
So I've talked about them before on the show, but, and that's why we drink is one of my favorite kind of escapism podcasts. But, you know, even they providing this reprieve of kind of being lighthearted and, and offering some good escapism are still very intentional about, like, this is where we are. And these are resources that are accessible to you if you need them.
Uh, so even if you are someone who kind of errs towards the, this isn't a political podcast, so I don't want to talk about politics. I want to give people an hour away from that each week. I do find that there is still so much value in just holding up a lantern and saying, we're going to be really silly right now.
to give you a break, but understand that I am also in this with you. I think that that's how you can approach kind of being an escapism show, but still upholding those values and helping to kind of be that light in the dark for people who need it. If you are a super duper niched down funnel podcast, and this is all about your business, best to get your bag how you've got to, but.
For me, it is important that the work that I'm doing aligns with my values and that the people with which I am working are also people who see things in a similar way to me. Now that's not to say that I have to agree with my clients on everything, that I need them to feel the exact same way. But that if we were to be diametrically opposed, it would be difficult for me to produce content for that person in good faith.
And so because of how I'm feeling, I'm very vocal about where I stand. And if I'm not the right professional for you, go with God, have a great day. I wish you the best, but. The people with whom I choose to surround myself with, both personally and professionally, are people whose values align with mine.
And, you know, so that's, that's kind of my stance on no matter what type of podcast you have, approaching it with just a little bit. It doesn't have to be episodes dedicated to the state of affairs or anything like that. But just having that little beacon of just like I want to lay it on the table. This is where things are at I think that that's important.
Now if you are Someone who is new to the activism game Welcome if you are a first generation progressive who's unpacking things God love ya, because that work is difficult and it's important. Um, but there are a few things that I, I would like to say, um, as they say on TikTok, I'm going to hold your hand while I say this.
Uh, and that's that there is a huge difference between activism and performative allyship. And every time that something that radicalizes people happens, we see this gray area of these two things happening. So the difference, if you're not familiar with activism versus performative activism or performative allyship is who it truly impacts at the end of the day.
So if you are someone who is not having the lived experience of the people you're trying to support, if you are trying to really radicalize for black people and you are a white person, if you are trying to radicalize for Queer people and you are cishet. There's a difference between actually showing up for that cause and just making it so that people think that you're one of the quote, good ones.
And we've seen a lot of discourse on Tik TOK recently about like the blue bracelet thing. And I have. Very cautiously tiptoed into my feelings on that, because as a white person, I understand that I'm never fully going to get it. Um, but I also understand the significance of marginalized groups having always had a secret language, a way to identify one another.
And I think that there's value in that. Um, so, you know, the, the pushback has been, I, I shouldn't have to have a bracelet for you to know that I'm doing the work and where I gently and reservedly push back on that is like, okay, but if I'm in an airport with people who don't know whether or not I've tried to do the work and someone's And I was feeling unsafe about using a bathroom that fits their gender.
And, and they see some kind of visual representation on me that immediately flags me as someone who can support them. Um, and you know, it's, it's kind of to me, it's like almost a uniform that, you know, if I'm at Target and I know that I need help, You If I can readily identify somebody without having to go up and be like, Hey, do you work for Target?
Like if I just can know I see value in that. But I do think that too often, especially since social media, we see too many people who are content to just like post the blackout square on Instagram and then call it a day and say, see, I did the thing. I helped black people today. And true activism does more than that.
There's also a point to be raised about who are you benefiting with whatever it is you're doing in the sphere of activism. Are you doing it for clout? Are you doing it for engagement? Or do you genuinely want to support uplift and impact the communities with which you're speaking about? And this is especially, especially relevant if it is not your community.
Something else that comes up a lot in the discourse of activism versus performative activism or allyship is having skin in the game and being willing to lose something. And, you know, this can look like a lot of things. This can look like, are you willing to be arrested? Are you willing to lose money? Are you willing to lose followers?
Are you willing to come into physical harm? What are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to lose relationships? If your answer is none of the above, Reconsider the motive for why you want to do this work. If you are too scared to post something because you think that people won't like it and they'll unfollow you, ask yourself, do you really want those people following you?
I mean, if that's really how you feel, that you really think that this is important, consider why that fear is outweighing your being vocal.
Okay?
So I want to pivot a little bit and talk about if you are going to have guests. with
within the lived experience or background of the cause that you're trying to support. And part of that goes back into the performative situation, but also part of it is just how do you navigate that when you are trying to benefit yourself? I mean, there's a huge part of it that you have to understand is like, you're coming onto my show, I'm going to get the views, I'm going to get the sponsorship opportunities, et cetera.
But why do you want that person to come on? Do your research. Like, I always talk about the planning phase. Before you even pitch for someone to be a guest, research. What are you, and do some self research. Like, what do you hope to get out of this? Because if you're just like, oh, this is a big deal. I should have a queer person on my show right now because it's trendy.
That is going to miss the mark so hard. It's honestly already missed the mark. But if you, you know, want to go deeper and you're like, I want to talk to someone who's like a professor of like women's studies or gender studies or racial studies, like do the research on what you want to ask them, that's going to actually be impactful and go beyond.
The 101 level, like those people are asked and asked and asked the basic things, do your research on what they like to present, what they like to talk about and figure out how you can use that to appeal to your audience. actually teach, and that's something that like is going to go beyond the performative sphere, is like really get into the weeds and allow that person to talk about what it is that they're passionate about talking about.
That's not just, this is what it's like to be a queer person. Um, or, you know, these are the issues that queer people face or insert any other demographic with which you're trying to support. But if you actually, allow them to speak from their place of what drives them, you're going to get a, a better episode, but you're also going to go into a place that feels better for them.
And, you know, I talk about that a little bit to bring up asking for free emotional labor. And if you're not familiar with the idea of emotional labor, it's basically when you're asking a person within a community that is. Marginalized or facing some kind of adversity and you're like, well, teach me about it.
Why can't I do this? Or why is this this way? I talk so often on this show about being un Google able and I really want to impress upon you that the people that you're having on your show are so tired of doing the Google able work for anyone who they're educating, that they are sick and tired of giving you first page of Google answers.
Allow them to go deeper. That is what is likely going to feel better for them. And that's likely where a lot of that authenticity is going to come for them as well. And think about how you're going to make it worth their time. Because if you're just like, Hey, I want you to come on because you're black.
To talk about black stuff. Like, that's not gonna fly. Like, at all. That's cringy, rude, and it's just gonna feel phony. I mean, it's just gonna feel like you are doing something because it's trendy. Like, you're doing something because you think you're supposed to. That if you really want to get somebody on your show who is, let's say, a person of color, a black person, and you're like, talk to me about what it's like to be a black obstetrician in Georgia.
Like, that's gonna be so much more engaging for them than to just like, Oh, how does it feel to be a black woman? Like, if you are just going surface level, or like, Do you feel the impacts of racism? Like, yes, I promise you, without even knowing who this made up person is, yes, I promise you she feels the effects of racism.
But if you can get specific and be like, what adversity does an obstetrician in Georgia face because of your skin color? That's going to be so much more engaging and enjoyable for that person to speak on. And it's going to give richness to the content that you're producing as well.
Something else that's going to keep you from getting stuck in that performative sphere is to go beyond awareness and start following through with concrete actions. And This is kind of going back to like that. Do you have skin in the game? Because if you're just like, I'm going to educate, I'm going to proliferate information, that's not incredibly helpful to the realities of the causes that you're trying to uplift that, you know, you need to be putting action.
So what does that look like? And it doesn't have to be that, you know, you are donating a million dollars to the ACLU. It can literally be having those uncomfortable conversations at the Thanksgiving table with your uncle. That can be action, but so can, Hosting fundraisers. So can partnering and donating a portion of your podcasting profits.
You know, there's a lot of different ways that you can, can take that next step, but just raising awareness where, come on, we're beyond that. Like it's, it's time to really start having some action.
And the part that a lot of people who are not within a community and hell, even people who are, this is the part where things get uncomfortable and it has to get uncomfortable. And that's to continuously be a lifelong learner, but also to be open to feedback. When you are operating in a public podcast, there's always going to be feedback and there's always going to be negative feedback.
And there's always going to be one star reviews. But, if you cannot gracefully and graciously accept criticism, and you're too afraid to make mistakes, that's not going to serve you. And that's not going to serve your cause. If you're going to be doing activism work with your podcast, understand that you're going to make mistakes and get comfortable walking them back.
Get comfortable not sweeping things under the rug, but going, you know what? Two episodes ago, I misspoke. I have been educated. Thank you to the people who did the work to educate me. Um, you know, I have taken it another step and I've learned and grown, and you know, this is an opportunity for us to all learn.
Cause maybe you also didn't know that this is not acceptable or kind or, or whatever the case may be. But if you're not able to graciously allow yourself to be wrong, you are doing surface level work. There is always going to be. a way that you're going to get it wrong, and that's okay. And, you know, I, I think that this part also stops a lot of people who are afraid because in this like current climate, people are so afraid of being canceled.
And there's always going to be cancelling. But I think what you do with that criticism is where the cancelling can or cannot happen. So like, let's take JK Rowling, for example. She says some hateful stuff on Twitter. People are like, hey, said some hateful stuff on Twitter. And she comes back and says, yep, I sure did.
And doubles down and says, and I really mean it. Hateful, hateful, hateful. That there could have been a chance for her to salvage that reputation and salvage who she is to a lot of people. If she said hateful stuff about trans people on Twitter. Hey, that was not okay! Like, that's hurtful and that's inappropriate rhetoric.
If she would have then come back and said, Oh my gosh, you're so right. I have learned from my mistakes. I was uneducated. I, I didn't truly understand the gravity of what I was saying. Thank you for that. And then because I'm a boo coo bucks, and then because I'm a big bucks billionaire, I'm contributing to trans people being able to access healthcare.
Like, that would have had such a different tone than just her continuing to be, like, black mold goblin green, than being, like, black mold green goblin mask JK Rowling. Right? Like, that would have hit so different. So if you are afraid of being cancelled, That's where I really, you know, I, I let in with like, you have to be okay with walking things back and you have to be humble enough to understand that you don't know everything and humble enough to learn from the people who know more than you.
And then as we start to wind down, I just want to talk a little bit more about collaborating effectively. Within this type of work, especially if you are not someone for whom this is a lived experience, make sure that you are amplifying without overshadowing. Focus on elevating the voices of those who are directly impacted By whatever your thing that you want to talk about or cause that you want to uplift is.
This includes de centering yourself from the narrative, which is not something that white women like myself are traditionally great at doing. There is a lot of crying on TikTok happening. And trust me, I have done my fair share of crying in these last few weeks, um, out of fear, out of fear for myself as someone with a female reproductive system, as someone with a lot of really near and dear people accessing gender affirming care, as someone who is the mother of not only a little girl, But a little girl who is black and fearing for the world that she's going to grow up in, um, fearing for my husband, who is a black man, who is also in the military.
Uh, I feel like that demographic has gotten overshadowed a little bit, but that if things are volatile, um, it's not a super exciting time to be. Um, in a position where things could get spicy with, uh, foreign affairs or domestic affairs. Um, not sure how much more I'm allowed to say on that.
Um, or, you know, being married to my husband who is, uh, Not only a black man, but also a soldier. Um, and, you know, having some fears about things being volatile in foreign affairs. Um, but you know, I, I am also feeling a lot of those big feelings, but the significance is to reframe what is actually happening to me.
And what hurt I am feeling out of empathy. And to say, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. When what I really mean is that I am so afraid for my people who I am so afraid for the people who I love, who are people of color. The people who I love who are in queer relationships, the people who I love who are transgender, the people who I love who are medically fragile and at risk of losing health care, the people who I love who are trying to start a family, those people are all going to be hit long before me.
And so, my tears. are not as valuable as my action. And I say that so gently, because there is space for your big emotions. But where it becomes misguided is when that is the bulk of what you're sharing. Really, it is our responsibility as people who are further away from the rising tide of this impact. We need to be the ones using the privilege that we have just by being born into the circumstances we are.
It is our responsibility and our obligation. All done? Thank you. La la la la. Yeah, you need some water. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm going to leave that in just on purpose. Um, because yeah, it's
Yeah, thank you. Okay, I'll drink some water too.
I love you. Alright, I'm almost done. Okay.
I don't know where baby's water is. Okay, can you go watch your TV for two more minutes? Okay. The tree. Can you go watch TV for two more minutes and let mommy finish? Yeah! Awesome! Alright, I'm not, there's no one to see, I'm just talking into this. Mama. Mhmm. Mommy. What do you want to say? Yeah, yeah.
That's what you have to say to the people? Yeah. Okay. I love you.
You're blowing kisses. Um, but yeah, it is, it is our responsibility to show up and to, to be brave enough to to even briefly entertain what it would be like to be people closer to the water's edge. That when we occupy that space of having those big emotions of, of needing to be comforted, That takes it away from the actual chance for impact.
That right now, we need to be doing the emotional labor. We need to be doing the emotional labor. We need to be the ones showing up. So, I think that's it for today. Um, thank you for having me back. Thank you for being here. Um, for I see. I'll put it back in a minute. Thank you for continuing to show up and for using your voice to make a difference.
I will be back next week. Um, and we're going to continue having conversations like this and we're going to continue talking about making change. And we're going to continue to talk about making amazing podcasts. I do that also over at Sonivia Studios on Instagram. You can come hang out with me there. Um, but until next time.
Thank you for helping me take podcasting up an octave. Ollie, you want to say bye? Yeah. Say bye. Bye.
Ollie, you want to say bye? Yeah. Bye. All right, finish chewing. Ew. You want to say bye? Bye.
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